Too Many Goodbyes
by rd8425
Summary: Will Mac figure out who she loves in time? Set after Lifeline. Response to HBX challenge March and April. Last chapter is up.
1. Chapter 1

Too Many Goodbyes  
by: RD

A/N This story is AU and takes place after Lifeline. Nothing is the same after that. It uses both the March and April HBX challenge words. Hope you enjoy it.

Oh yeah – they don't belong to me – sniffle.

Part A

Jag Headquarters:

Mac's door was closed as Mic approached and he raised his hand to knock. Hearing Harm's voice, he paused and decided to listen to what was being said.

"I know you enjoy having him around Mac, but I think you should give him up."

"It's just so hard. I know he hasn't been in my life that long, but I have grown attached to him."

"I know, but you said yourself that you don't have enough time as it is and it isn't fair to him. You know he'll be better off and that is why you have already made the decision."

"I know you are right Harm, I just needed to hear it out loud."

"Well, you asked for my advice and I agree with your judgment. He's just too much trouble and your time is already limited. If you need any help, just let me know ok? If you want, I can even take care of the details for you, especially since you have so many other things going on."

"Thanks Harm. Sometimes I just don't know what I'd do without you."

"Hey, what are friends for? I'll see you later in court."

As Harm stepped out of Mac's office, he felt a massive pain in his stomach where Mic's fist connected hard. He had been caught completely off guard and the blow doubled him over and sent him down on one knee. Mac immediately jumped up from behind her desk and rushed over to stop Mic who was yelling at Harm to put up his fists.

"Mic, what the hell is wrong with you? You just assaulted a man for no reason?"

"No reason? No reason? I heard him in there with you Sarah. I heard him tell you to give me up and that he would help you. Oh, I am not surprised, especially after talking to Renee, but I didn't think he'd be so blatant about it."

"Slow down a minute. First of all, not that it is any of your business, but Harm and I were talking about Jingo, not you. Secondly, what about Renee?"

"Oh, like you didn't know Harm broke up with her!" As the words left his mouth, his brain registered what Mac had said. They had been talking about Jingo. Mic had the decency to look truly ashamed and embarrassed. "I, uh, I'm sorry Sarah. Can we uh, talk about all this later?"

She was about to protest when it dawned on her where they were and that they had drawn a sizable audience. It was at this moment that the Admiral emerged from his office. He took in the whole scene. Harm down on one knee trying to catch his breath, Mac trying to help him stand, Mic looking on with a mixture of guilt and anger on his face. "What the hell is going on here?"

Everyone stopped and looked in his direction. "I want you three in my office right now. Everyone else, the show is over, get back to work. NOW!!"

Mac helped Harm stand and glared at Mic when he tried to help. "You have done enough Mic. Let's just get in to the Admiral's office before you make it any worse."

Five minutes later the three of them stood at attention in front of the Admiral's desk. Harm and Mac out of duty, Mic out of fear and respect.

He looked at all three of them, then noticing Harm looked very pale, he put them at ease.

"Rabb, are you ok?"

"Yes sir. Just got the wind knocked out of me pretty good."

"I want to know what happened out there and I want to know now."

"It was my fault Admiral." Mic glanced over at Mac. "I'm afraid I jumped to a conclusion about something I overheard and in my haste, I uh, well, I sucker punched Rabb."

"I see." He looked at Mac and then at Harm. "Commander, is this what happened?"

"Yes sir. Sir, I don't blame Brumby. It was all just a misunderstanding and I would prefer not to make a big deal out of it."

"So you don't wish to press charges?"

"No sir. I just want to forget about this whole thing and continue preparing for court."

"Colonel, do you have anything to add?"

"Not right now sir."

The Admiral looked at her closely. Her jaw was clenched and a vein in her neck was bulging. She was pissed. Whatever punishment he could dish out would be nothing compared to what Mic was going to face later. Of that he was sure.

"Brumby, consider yourself lucky that Commander Rabb is such a forgiving man. With a room full of witnesses, he could easily have had you charged with assault."

"Yes sir Admiral, I do realize that."

"Commander, Colonel, you are dismissed. Brumby, I think it best if stay away from headquarters for a while."

They all three said yes sir and filed out of his office. Brumby knew he had to do some damage control, especially in light of the news he let slip. He approached Harm and tried to appear humble. "Look mate, I really am sorry for the misunderstanding and I hope you can accept my apology." He gave what he hoped was a sincere smile. Truth was he had enjoyed doing that. He'd been wanting to take another poke at Harm for months. But right now, it was important to look contrite in front of Mac. He held his hand out knowing Harm was too honorable to deny it, in public anyway. Harm hesitated for a moment, and then shook the proffered hand. "Don't worry about it "mate", it's forgotten." He turned and walked towards his office, trying to massage away the pain in his stomach.

Mac was not so forgiving.

"I cannot believe you did that Mic. We are going to have a serious discussion when I get home tonight. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for court." She gave him one last glare and then headed towards her own office, shutting the door behind her. Mic knew he was in for it.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in court. By the end of the day, Harm was not feeling well at all. The pain in his stomach had not eased up and he wanted nothing more than to head home and crawl into bed. Mac had noticed that he seemed a bit off, but figured he was still upset by what had happened earlier. As she sat in her office, she could not keep her mind from wandering. She couldn't believe Harm and Renee had broken up. She wanted to ask Harm about it, but didn't feel like now was a good time. Maybe she'd beat the information out of Mic later tonight.

She was so preoccupied with those thoughts that she didn't notice it was 17:30 and everyone had already gone home for the day, including Harm. She had hoped to see him before he left to make sure he was ok. With a sigh, she packed her briefcase and headed home. As she drove through traffic, she began to wonder, not for the first time, if she was making a big mistake.

Her wedding to Mic was only a couple of weeks away and yet there was no excitement. Shouldn't she be feeling butterflies in her stomach or something close to anticipation? All she felt was dread. Mic was a decent man, for the most part, but there were things about him that bothered her – things she couldn't quite put a finger on. She was having a hard time seeing herself spending the rest of her life with him, and simply could not image him as a father to her children. When she pictured her future, all her children had ocean gray eyes.

The only butterflies she had felt recently were when she kissed Harm on the Admiral's porch during her engagement party. Her emotions had been on overdrive since that night. She had gotten the feeling that if Mic and Renee had not been in their lives, Harm would have confessed his love for her right then and there. Hell, they both danced around the words that night. She had wanted him to tell her so badly, yet she knew that he was way too much of a gentleman to do that to Renee or herself.

And then it hit her. Harm had asked why she had gone to Mic so fast. She had completely missed his reference. He wasn't talking about the engagement period. He had been talking about Sydney. How could she have been so blind? What must that have looked like to him? A damn one night stand proposal, that's what. He had said "not yet". Not – "never". Not, "I'm not interested". Just 'not yet', as in, not right now, not at this moment, not when emotions are running high and I don't know how you'll feel in the morning.

So she had taken Mic's ring. To Harm that would have been an off-limits sign. She was no longer available. Harm was the quintessential gentleman. She hadn't understood that at the time. Now the realization was as bright as a neon sign. She wondered if it was too late to fix this mess. With a new outlook and a hope she had not had in a long time, she sped towards her apartment and Mic.

She heard Mic in the kitchen as she walked in the door. "That you luv?" He poked his head into the living room and smiled. "I'm making something special for dinner."

"Mic, I'm not really hungry, and we need to talk. Can you please come over here and sit down?"

He had not been looking forward to this, but figured it was better to get it over with. They would talk, he'd give her his puppy dog look, she'd melt and forgive him and then they could have dinner and put it all behind them. As he approached Mac, he thought he'd still be facing an irate marine. Instead, she looked calm, almost content. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe she realized that Harm needed a good punch in the gut. He sure enjoyed doing it. Smug bastard. He couldn't wait to make Sarah his wife. Then he'd see to it that she and Harm didn't spend any time together outside of work. If everything went according to his plan, they'd be back in Australia in 6 months and he would resume his post in the Royal Australian Navy. Everything was falling into place. He was brought out of his thoughts by Mac's voice.

"Mic. For the most part, you are a decent man. You have been good to me these past months and I would like nothing better than to be able to make you happy the rest of your life."

"That's what I want too Sarah."

"Mic, please let me finish." She got up and began to pace. "I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I have realized that I can't be the woman who makes you happy. I am not happy and if I loved you like I should, I would be. Marrying you should feel right, but it just doesn't Mic. I'm sorry. You deserve to be fully loved by the person you are going to marry and I am not that person."

"Sarah, you are just having pre-wedding jitters. It isn't uncommon. Look, I know I screwed up today and made a fool of myself. You are just upset by all that. Let's just have a nice dinner and get some sleep and you'll see things differently in the morning."

"No Mic. I can't marry you. There is something about you that makes me uncomfortable and your little display today just reminded me of that. It is a lot like the way I used to feel around my father. I was never sure when he would blow up and I can't live my life walking on eggshells. I am sorry, but I think it would be best if you just leave."

He got up and grabbed her by the arm. "What are you afraid of Sarah? Why are you running away from us now? You love me."

"Let go of me Mic." He released her arm but wouldn't give up.

"You have been wearing my ring for over a year Sarah. For once, admit you have real feelings."

"I do Mic, just not for you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She took off the ring and handed it to him, and then she grabbed her purse and headed out the door. Behind her Mic was shouting.

"You can't run away all your life Sarah."

As she rode down the elevator, she smiled. She wasn't running away, she was running towards. She could only hope that it wasn't too late.


	2. Chapter 2

Part B

Twenty minutes later she was knocking on Harm's door.

Harm couldn't believe the day he had had. He was embarrassed to have been so caught off guard with Mic's sucker punch, especially in front of so many people. He could rationalize that Mic was a boxer and his punch packed a lot of power, but he was still embarrassed. Standing there in front of the Admiral, all he wanted to do was crawl into a hole.

He wondered for the millionth time what Mac ever saw in Brumby. He just didn't trust the guy. He knew he could have brought charges against him, but that would have hurt Mac and he cared about her too much to do that to her. When the Admiral dismissed them, he just wanted to get back to his office as soon as possible, but Mic wanted to make nice. Probably just a show for Mac, but two could play that game, so he shook hands.

As he sat in court, the ache in his stomach grew, as did a strange pain in his shoulder. It took all of his effort to concentrate and he was relieved when the proceedings were over and his client was found not guilty. He noticed Mac looking at him a few times with concern in her eyes. Did the pain show that much? He slipped into his office and closed the door. He just needed to make it through another half hour and then he could go home.

Sitting at his desk, Mic's words came back to him. Renee had obviously talked to him. Why, was anyone's guess? He was glad Mac did not pursue the issue though. He wasn't ready to have that conversation. Not just yet. After Mac kissed him on the Admiral's porch, he really started thinking about his relationship with both her and Renee. If he really cared about Renee, he wouldn't have feelings for another woman. He knew Mac was spoken for and he would never do anything to ruin that for her, but he also wasn't being fair to Renee. She deserved to be loved completely and only. Harm could never do that and he told her as much. She was surprisingly calm and resigned. She had suspected as much and was actually relieved not to have to pretend any longer. She had hoped for something that would never happen. Now she was free to find that special someone.

Harm had felt relieved as well. He enjoyed Renee's company, but there had always been a tension between them. He'd known what it was, and he suspected Renee did too. Mac. She had tried to get confirmation several times, but he had always brushed her questions and worries aside. He couldn't do that any longer.

By the time 17:00 rolled around, Harm was feeling worse. His shoulder really hurt and he was exhausted. He grabbed his briefcase and headed for the elevators, not even bothering to say goodnight to Mac. He couldn't face her right now. He hoped a good night's sleep would help him feel better.

He arrived home and barely had the energy to take off his uniform. Leaving it in a pile on the floor, he crawled into bed and pulled the blankets up around himself.

Some time later, he barely registered a knock on his door. He ignored it, hoping whoever it was would just go away. The pounding came again but he was in too much pain to care.

Mac knocked on Harm's door several times but there was no answer. She knew he was home since his car was parked downstairs. It wasn't like him to ignore a knock and she began to get worried. Selecting his key from her key ring, she unlocked the door and quietly opened it. The loft was dark so she wondered briefly if maybe Harm had gone out for a run or something. She decided to go ahead and wait for him inside, hoping he wouldn't mind. Closing the door, she was startled by a sound coming from the bedroom. She held her breath and listened. It came again and this time Mac recognized it as a moan.

Mac made her way towards Harm's bed. He was curled up in a ball, on his side, holding his stomach tight and rocking. Mac hurried over to his side and sat on the bed next to him.

"Harm?" no answer. "Harm?" still no answer. She placed her hand gently on his forehead. His skin was clammy and had a fine sheen of sweat. She reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. He was very pale and breathing with difficulty. Mac pulled out her cell phone and called 911. With an ambulance on the way, she again tried to rouse him by shaking him gently and calling his name. This time she was able to bring him around.

"Mac? What...what ...are you...doing here?" His question was followed by a spasm of pain. He groaned loudly and closed his eyes tight while clutching his stomach.

"Harm? Come on, try to stay awake ok." He opened his eyes but was having trouble keeping them open.

"Harm!!!" she shouted, trying to keep him awake.

"Sorry ... Mac...something's...wrong...stomach...shoulder...hurts." He groaned again.

"I know you are hurting Harm, but try to stay awake ok. An ambulance is on its way."

"I'll...try..."

"Ok, good." She got a damp washcloth from the bathroom and began smoothing it over his face and forehead, alternating between the washcloth and her other hand on his skin.

"Mmm... feels ...nice...Mac. Won't Mic ...be...mad?"

"I don't answer to Mic." She smiled at him, then kissed his forehead. Before she had a chance to say any more, the EMT's arrived and she went to let them in.

While one of the EMT's took Harm's vitals, the other asked Mac questions. She told them about the punch Harm had received earlier in the day and that he had been complaining that his stomach and shoulder were hurting. The covers were pulled back and Harm's t-shirt lifted up. Mac gasped at the horribly large purple bruise that had spread across his stomach. Mic had definitely not pulled his punch.

She suddenly felt an intense anger towards Mic, but she forgot about it as soon as she saw Harm nearly jump off the bed when the EMT touched his abdomen. She was immediately by his side glaring at the man. "What did you do to him?" Her voice was barely controlled.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I had to check for rebound tenderness. He has all the signs of internal bleeding and we need to get him to the hospital quickly."

Her anger dissipated at his words and she informed the EMT that Harm was military and needed to be taken to the National Naval Medical Center. They put him on the stretcher and headed out. Mac was right behind them.

She followed the ambulance to the hospital and quickly found a parking space. By the time she ran into the emergency waiting room, Harm was already being evaluated and prepped for surgery. She filled out all the necessary paperwork and was told it would be a few hours at least, but someone would come out as soon as they knew anything.

She decided she'd better call the Admiral and let him know what happened. He told her he'd be there shortly and for her not to worry.

'As if that were possible' she thought to herself. With nothing left to do but wait, she finally sat down. After a few minutes, she began to shake. It suddenly hit her what all had transpired today. She had started this morning as an engaged woman with a best friend, and now she was no longer engaged and her best friend was in trouble. The only things she was sure of right now were that she was in love with Harm….and she couldn't lose him.

The tears started falling down her face as she thought about all the happy moments with Harm and all the wasted time. She brought her knees up to her chest and began rocking herself. This was how the Admiral found her.

"Mac? Oh God, he isn't….he didn't….?"

Mac looked up and shook her head. She wiped at the tears and took a couple of deep breaths before she spoke. "He's still in surgery. They are supposed to let me know something soon." She wiped away more tears. "I'm just so scared sir. After I called off the wedding, I wanted to go see how Harm was doing."

"Wait a minute – you called off the wedding?" He couldn't help the little smile that played around his mouth. He never really did like that smug bastard.

Mac nodded. "I realized I didn't love him and needed to see Harm. When I went to his loft… at first I couldn't get him to wake up…then he was in so much pain. I..I didn't know what was wrong so I called an ambulance. The EMT's said he had internal bleeding. God, when I saw the bruise from Mic's punch…..I wanted to kill him right on the spot for what he'd done."

"So this is Mic's fault? Wait till I get my hands on that…that…" He turned and looked at Mac and realized now was not the time for that, though he would, at the very least, make sure Mic was charged with assault. "Mac, Harm is going to be ok. He is strong and stubborn – as we both well know."

"I know sir. I'm still scared though." Mac answered.

"I know." He was unsure how to comfort her. "I should call the Roberts and let them know what's going on." He stood up and looked down at her. "It will be ok Colonel."

"Admiral, what about his Mom?"

"I think it best to wait until we have something to tell her. No sense worrying her without reason."

She just nodded.

Two hours later, Mac, the Admiral, Bud and Harriet all sat in the waiting room, each thinking about their friend. The Admiral had briefly described what had happened, leaving out the part about the Colonel breaking up with Mic. Given the circumstances, it was a good thing she had broken it off as it appeared the news affected everyone the way it had himself. They all wanted to kill Mic.

When a surgeon finally came out Mac immediately stood up and approached him.

"Are you family of Commander Rabb?"

"No sir, but I hold his medical power of attorney. Is he ok?"

By this time everyone had gathered around Mac to hear what the surgeon had to say. The doctor looked at the group, then back to Mac. "Should we go someplace else to talk?"

"No, it's ok. We are all here for Commander Rabb. Please just tell us if he's ok."

"He lost a lot of blood due to a ruptured spleen. We were able to stop the bleeding and for now his spleen has been repaired."

"I thought the spleen had to be removed if it ruptured?" the Admiral asked.

"I believe in a conservative approach when at all possible. In CDR Rabb's case, there was enough viable tissue for the spleen to be repaired. I won't know for about 72 hours if the surgery was successful. He may still lose the spleen, but for now, he is stable."

"For now?" Mac's voice was wavering. "Does that mean he isn't out of danger?"

"I can't give you any guarantees. We will need to monitor his heart and make sure the bleeding does not start again, but given how close he was to bleeding out, I'd say he is doing very well."

"Can he have visitors?" Harriet finally found her voice.

"He will remain in the ICU for at least 24 hours and they only allow family." He looked at Mac. "Colonel, you can see him for a little while tonight. I'll have a nurse take you back in just a few minutes. The rest of you will have to wait until he is transferred out of the ICU. I don't expect him to wake up until tomorrow so you should all go home and try to get some rest." He glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry, but I really have to get back now." He started to turn away, but stopped and looked back at Mac. "You know Colonel, you saved his life tonight. If you hadn't gotten him here when you did, he would have bled to death in his sleep."

Mac was glad she was sitting down. Her body felt numb. The full force of what the doctor said hit her like a ton of bricks. If she had stayed home instead of finally following her heart, Harm would have died.

No one moved or said anything for several minutes. They were all in shock thinking about how close they had come to losing Harm. There was still a possibility that he wouldn't be ok, but they didn't want to dwell on that.

The Admiral was the one who broke the silence. "Ok people, it is getting late and we still have an office to run tomorrow. I think we should all do as the doctor suggested and go on home."

Harriet told Mac to call if she found out anything more or needed anything, then she and Bud headed home.

The Admiral turned to Mac. "I'll go ahead and call his mom, let her know what happened." He paused for a moment, then added, "I don't suppose telling you to go home would do any good?"

"No Sir. I can't leave. I need to see him, to ... sit with him. He could wake up and I need to be there." Mac was about to say more but the Admiral cut her off.

"It's ok Mac. Just be sure to take care of yourself too and try to get some sleep. You won't do yourself or Harm any good if you wear yourself out."

"I will Sir. Uh, Admiral, I'd like to request a personal day tomorrow, if that's ok."

"Granted. Just be sure to keep me apprised of Harm's condition."

"Yes sir. Thank you sir."

The Admiral left and Mac was once again alone with her thoughts. She promised herself that as soon as Harm was out of danger, she would tell him exactly how she felt. She was no longer going to hide her feelings for him, from him. Not for the first time tonight, she hoped she wasn't too late.


	3. Chapter 3

See Disclaimer in Part A

Too Many Goodbyes

By: RD

A/N – I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to read and review. It means a lot to me and I do appreciate it. This is the last part of the story. I hope those who wanted to see Mic get his will not be too disappointed. In my head, he is sharing a cell with "Big Bubba" who thinks Mic has "a pretty mouth" but for this story, it just didn't seem to fit in to what I wanted to write. Hope you all enjoy the last part.

A/N 2 – I am sorry for the delay in getting up the last chapter – I've been told that this site sometimes has "issues" and I have been unable to upload the story. I would never intentionally be this cruel!! Please enjoy.

Part C

A short time later, the nurse came out and led Mac to Harm's bedside in the ICU. Mac almost gasped when she saw him. He was so pale and still and had several machines attached to him monitoring his vitals and dripping life saving blood back into his body. Had she not heard the heart monitor, she would have thought he was dead. She sat down in the chair next to his bed and tentatively touched his hand. She half expected it to be cold, but was relieved to feel his warm skin under her touch. Feeling better, she settled into the chair and just held his hand and looked at him.

She was still holding his hand twenty minutes later when a nurse came in to check on her patient. "I'm sorry hun, but it is past visiting hours and I'm afraid you'll need to say goodbye." Mac didn't say anything for a minute, then she looked up at the nurse with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can't. We've gotten too good at saying good-bye, he and I. I .. I just can't leave him right now."

The nurse was used to seeing upset or distraught family members sitting by bedsides of their loved ones, but this woman's pain was palpable. She finished taking the patient's vitals and jotted some notes down in his chart. Sensing the woman needed a friendly ear, she crossed to the other side of the bed and sat down next to her.

Mac looked over at the nurse then back at Harm.

"First time we said goodbye, it was me who left." She paused for a moment, lost in the past.

The nurse remained silent, not wanting to interrupt her thoughts.

After a bit, Mac continued. "I thought I was in love, thought I wanted to get out of the military and spread my wings. Thought I had found a man to make a future with. So I said goodbye and he wished me good luck." She nodded towards Harm. "And I knew he would be there for me, always."

"But you came back?"

Mac nodded. "I couldn't stay away. I needed the life I had left. Needed the structure, needed the friends. Needed him." Again she paused.

"He's a pilot you know. Flies F-14's – Tomcats. He's damn good at it too." She stared off into space, caught in another past memory. "He was born to fly. I understand that now, but that understanding came a bit late. He needed to go back to that life, to finish it on his own terms. He came to me looking for support for that decision and I turned him away. That was the hardest goodbye." She reached up and caressed his forehead.

"But he came back" the nurse offered.

"That he did. But it wasn't the same between us. I wouldn't let it be. I punished him for leaving me." She chuckled. "Silly isn't it?"

"We all do silly things when love is involved." The nurse answered softly.

"Maybe. But I was mean. I knew it would hurt him if I took another man's ring. See, I tried to force him to make a commitment that he knew I wasn't ready for, and he didn't play along." She shook her head and smiled. "Funny. I love the part of him that made him too honorable to make a move after I took Mic's ring, yet I punished him for that very thing." She looked over at the nurse, defeat in her eyes. "What kind of person does that make me? I mean, how could I do that to someone if I really loved them? And how could he continue to care about someone who could do that to him?"

The nurse reached over and took Mac's hand. "Hun, I have been doing this for nearly 40 years now, and if there is one thing that this job has taught me, is that as long as you are alive, you can change things. If you love him, tell him. Don't wait, don't play games. And don't waste anymore time."

Mac sniffled and offered the nurse a small smile. "I do love him, more than I ever thought possible. I want so much to have a future with him, to have children with him, to grow old with him."

The nurse gave her a big smile and a pat on the hand. "Then now's your chance hun. Tell him that." She nodded her head towards Harm, who was staring intently at Mac, and had been for a few minutes.

"Hey" he croaked.

Mac turned to look and her heart nearly fell out of her chest. He was awake. "Harm." her voice caught as she sucked in a shuddering breath. She stood up next to him and placed her hand on his forehead. "How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"

"Tired. Throat hurts" he whispered.

The nurse made her way to the other side of the bed and checked his vitals once again. "I'll go get him some ice chips. It should help with the throat." She set the chart down and left the room.

"Mac.."

"Shh. Don't try to talk yet. The nurse is getting some ice for your throat ok?"

Harm nodded and closed his eyes. The nurse came back a minute later with a bowl of ice chips. "You can give him a few of these and that should help. Hun, I'm going to let you stay for a while, but remember, he needs to rest as much as possible tonight."

She started out the door, but stopped when Mac called to her. Mac leaned down told Harm she'd be right back, then she stepped out into the hall.

"I'm sorry. I poured out my life to you and, and I don't even know your name."

"It's Susan Carter, you can call me Sue."

"Sarah MacKenzie, uh, Mac." She smiled a bit nervously. "Sue, I just wanted to thank you for listening. It meant a lot to me."

"Hun, it was my pleasure. You just be sure to remember what I said. Time is precious. Don't waste it ok."

Mac shook her head. "I won't. I promise." Mac turned to go back into Harm's room. When she looked back, Sue was gone. Strange, Mac thought to herself, but the thought was fleeting as Harm once again called her name.

"I'm right here Harm." She placed an ice chip in his mouth and caressed his forehead.

He sucked on the ice and relished the cool liquid as it made its way down his parched throat. "Mac...need to tell you something."

"Hey. Right now you need to rest. The nurse won't let me stay if you don't. Besides, there will be plenty of time to talk when you are feeling better, ok?" she continued to soothe his forehead.

He offered a weak smile. "Kay." He closed his eyes.

When she thought he was asleep, she turned to pull the chair even closer to the bed so she could hold his hand and recline a bit.

"Mac?"

"Shh, it's ok. I'm here. It's ok."

"Staying?"

"I'm not going anywhere. You just get some sleep now ok." He closed his eyes again and this time he did sleep. Sometime later, Mac too drifted off.

She awoke sometime after 7am and immediately sat up to look at Harm. He was resting comfortably and looked much better than he had last night. She smiled at his sleeping form and gently eased her hand out from under his. It was then that she noticed the small folded piece of paper in her hand. Frowning, she opened it up and read the note. It was simple and to the point, and in Harm's unmistakable handwriting.

_I LOVE YOU TOO SARAH. _

_H- _

There they were in black and white – the words she had so desperately wanted – the words that would seal her future. She ran her hand delicately over the note, as if it would disappear if she weren't careful. She noticed a tear had fallen on the sheet and she quickly wiped it away. It was then she looked up at Harm and was greeted with the warmest smile she had ever seen.

"Hey beautiful. I see you got my note."

Now that she thought about it, she was puzzled. "Harm, I, oh, I was going to tell you this morning that I broke if off with Mic and that I loved you so much. How, how did you know? How did you do this?"

"I heard you last night Mac. Every word you said. I wanted to say something, but I just couldn't get my eyes to open. It was like I was here, but I wasn't. Anyway, Sue, that nurse that you were talking to, she came in around 5am and I was awake. I asked her if she could help me leave you a note."

"Oh Harm." She stood up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He wrapped his free arm around her and immediately groaned. She pulled back quickly. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He flashed another brilliant smile and winked. "Not that kind of groan MacKenzie."

She slapped his arm and smiled. "Don't do that to me."

"Hey, you did it to me." This was followed by a very big yawn and a slight wince, which Mac immediately noticed.

"Ok mister. I am going to see about getting you some pain medicine, and then you need to get some rest. We have a lot of things to talk about and I need you at full strength, for when the talking is done." At this she winked. She was about to go find a nurse when the surgeon walked in the room.

"Well CDR Rabb. You certainly look a lot better today than you did last night."

"How long will I be here?"

"Tired of us already are you?"

"I just have some important plans to make." He smiled again at Mac.

"Well, let's see how you do over the next two days. So far the blood work looks good and there is no drainage. I think you'll be keeping that spleen. You will, however, have several weeks of rest ahead of you, so you might as well get used to lying down for a while."

Harm frowned, but Mac gave him a stern look. "Don't worry doctor, he will be taking it very easy for the next few weeks, I guarantee that."

The doctor smiled and nodded. "Get as much sleep as you can today ok. Don't fight the fatigue. Your body has been through a lot and you need the rest." He made a few notes in the chart and adjusted the i.v. to give a dose of pain meds. "I'll be back later this afternoon to check on you." He said as he was walking out the door.

"Ok Harm. You heard the doc. Get some rest. I am going to go home and shower and change, and I'll be back before you know it." She leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you Harmon Rabb. I love you." His eyes were already closed, but he smiled softly.

It was with a light heart that she headed towards the lobby. She knew they had a lot to talk about, but she also had this wonderful feeling that she and Harm would be together in this life for many many years to come. She stopped at the reception desk and asked the young woman behind the counter what time Susan Carter came on duty. She wanted to bring her something special when she came back later. The woman gave her the strangest look. "I'm sorry, did you say Susan Carter?" Mac nodded.

"Yes. She was so kind to me last night and I wanted to bring her something special as a way of saying thank you."

"Ma'am. The only Susan Carter that ever worked here was a nurse we had about 20 years ago. I never met her, but everyone said she was the sweetest woman you could ever meet. She had a heart attack in Room 117, and they dedicated this wing to her memory." The receptionist pointed to a plaque hanging on the wall in the lobby. Mac was unsure what was going on, but she walked over to where the plaque was hanging. She felt the color drain from her face when she saw the picture. It was Sue. The plaque read:

In loving memory of one of the most dedicated nurses to have ever walked these halls. She was never too tired to listen, never too busy to help. She was a good friend to many, and loved by all who knew her.

Mac walked out of the hospital in stunned silence. She sat in her car and went over everything that had happened last night. She could not have imagined it. The woman in the picture on the wall was in Harm's room last night. She had talked to her. Harm had talked to her. Then she remembered Harm's room number – 117. She swallowed down the lump in her throat, and sucked in a deep breath. Looking up, towards the sky, she whispered "Thank you, thank you for everything." She could have sworn she heard a voice say 'you're welcome Sarah.' Smiling, she started her car, and headed for home.

The End.


End file.
